I am a Winner

I just got back from a quick 2-night trip to Vegas. I didn't win financially, but as I reflect on 2008, I think I'm a really big winner. :) Happy 2009!

Excitement

I'm not meaning to neglect my blog, but there really hasn't been anything blog-worthy over the last few months. The most exciting thing lately is the new Safeway that went in down the street. And my guess is that writing about saving 10% on all my purchases there until January 14th won't exactly make front page news.

Not to worry, though, I've dredged up a story that happened about four months ago that still has me laughing. Even though it's now old news, I thought you all would enjoy.

I had my first phone conversation with a new boy. He works for Intel and was living in the Bay Area, but transfering to Portland within a few weeks. Employed, intelligent, 35 years old, and the conversation was flowing fine. Except for a few weird pieces:

I asked him if he was renting a moving van. Nope, he was going to fit all his stuff into his car. OK, that seemed odd, but maybe he sold all his furniture and was just moving the necessities.

He mentioned that he'd need to learn how to cook. That, too, seemed a little odd, but he'd also mentioned how much he was going to miss his favorite restaurants, so maybe he didn't cook and just did takeout. I let it pass.

What I didn't let pass though, was the final comment that ended our conversation. "Sorry, gotta go. Mom's calling me to dinner."

Old vs. Young

I went from feeling young down to feeling like an old fart . . . all in one weekend. Let me explain.

I was in L.A. visiting Grandma. We were hanging out by her pool when the pool man came over to clean it. He couldn't have been more than 5-10 years older than me. We chatted and he asked, "So, what school do you go to?" YES! He thinks I'm still in college! Totally flattering.

Later that day, my aunt and uncle picked me up in the van they'd rented for the evening. It was one of my cousin's 14th birthday party. She, along with my 17 year old cousin, invited some friends to go to Fright Night down at Universal Studios. Nothing makes you feel older than stepping into a van with 9 teenagers. They were all screaming and texting the whole ride downtown. Just to feel a little younger, I decided I'd better start texting, too. I'm hip, I'm with it. I sent one to my mom, which I'm pretty sure un-did any coolness I may have gained.

Emergency Room?

So I almost drove myself to the ER yesterday. I came to this possibility after using the bathroom and saw that things weren't looking quite normal. Then I did what the Tylenol commercials suggest: Stop. Think. . . . What did I eat today? Ahhhh . . . beets! Nice RED beets.

Goings On

Tidbits of info about my life:

• Cupping. Ever heard of it? I hope for your sake you haven't. I have had shoulder pain for years and finally decided to try acupuncture. The needle part was fine; the cupping part not so much. The therapist took regular glass cups and lit a match under them. After blowing out the match, she quickly placed each of the four cups onto my upper back. My precious skin then got suctioned up into the cup, thereby creating a HUGE ASS HICKEY. Yes, that's right. I have huge ass hickeys all over my upper back. Deep purple circles of fun. And my shoulder pain? Still there. Now it just has some circular friends to keep it company.

• I had to call Comcast today. The guy pulled up my contact info and nearly fell out of his chair with laughter about my name. Glad I could provide him with entertainment.

• I left a voicemail for an OB/GYN candidate today. Her name? Dr. Bush. Yeah, try not laughing while you leave that message!

Taking the Spa Home with You

On the last day at the ranch, they gave a talk about how you can continue the spa experience from home. The talk was interesting and practical. But how long did I continue to feel relaxed, you ask? I did my best, but by the time I got to the airport and found out my flight was delayed, the spa feelings were all gone. :(

People keep assuming my trip involved alcohol and wild and crazy nights. Not this time, my friends! This trip was for well-being. Alcohol, despite what I'd like to think, does not contribute to my well-being . . . But I don't want you all thinking that my Mexican adventures didn't include at least a little fun:

Topless sunbathing. This was my first time doing it, and I must say, it's very freeing! I played it safe and the girls didn't get burned, thank goodness! :)

Strip tease workout: You've heard of this? There's another variation that involves a pole, but we used a chair instead. Sooooo funny! We were all giggles.

Hmmmm . . . so here I am tan all over with new striper moves, yet single as can be. The cruel irony of it all! :-D

The Age to Be is Thirty-Three

Doesn't it seem like just yesterday I was doing a post on turning 32? Yikes!

Kinda hard to describe what I've been up to this week. I'm down in Mexico at a spa/ranch. It's amazing! It has been great to spend some time in the sun (I even went topless!), to meet some wonderful new friends, and to get some amazing workouts in. I've taken pictures, so come find me next week and I'll show you with photos what is difficult to describe in words.

Thirty-three is off to a great start!

Can this Week go any Slower?

Destination: Mexico.
Weather forecast: Sunny and 85 with low humidity

Need I say more?

I leave on Saturday, which feels like forever and a day away. I'm tired of wearing sweaters into work. I'm ready to have nice brown skin again. I can't wait to get some good solid R & R.

Is it really only Tuesday?

Sweat

My co-worker and I had a fun time at SeaWorld last night. It was an event for the conference attendees, so we thought it'd be a good networking event. I only have one thing to say: Free Alcohol.

Yes, friends, this means my two month alcohol hiatus is complete. :) I will continue to be seriously cutting back, but as long as the drinks are poured for free, count me in. :) So . . . anyone who knows me knows that nauseous is my middle name. I think I'm sick to my stomach more often than not. Therefore, I tend to avoid roller coaster rides. Until last night.

With a few drinks in me, I suddenly found myself in line to ride a coaster. Oh dear. But I was feeling pretty brave and decided that it was something I should do. So I did. I screamed like a baby the whole time! I screamed out all my recent frustrations. I just screamed and screamed and screamed. And when we finally got back to safety, I laughed. I laughed so hard that I could barely stop. And then? I started sweating. A cold sweat. Thankfully, I pulled myself together and there was no vomit incident.

In order to keep the sweating going, but in a more fun manner, we danced the rest of the night away. I had so much fun trying to keep up with a physician from Chile. That man could dance! By the time all was said and done, my hair was was totally wet, but I was still laughing. :)

Male Sling

I always learn something new at these conferences. At the urology conference in San Diego, it was the vacuum pump. At the neurosurgery conference in Chicago, it was all about watching the brain surgery video over and over again. At this urology conference in Orlando, it's all about the male sling.

All day yesterday, I saw the signs at the booth directly across from me stating they were promoting their male slings. I kept wondering what the heck that meant. They couldn't get their video to work yesterday, but it is working today and the education of Able Cable continues. Today I get to watch a video loop showing them cuting into the area beneath the scrotum and inserting a mesh sling. They then put two hooks through the poor man's inner thighs and pull the ends of the sling through his thighs. The sling holds the uretha up, thereby helping with urinary incontinence. Eventually, the muscles grows over the mesh and the problem should be solved. Totally weird seeing a video of a man spread eagle all day long!

Ah, such is my life . . .

Orlando

No, not the hot young cabana boy, but the city down in Florida. Alas. Could really use a hot young cabana boy right about now . . .

I flew in today (and boy are my arms tired) and am excited to have a free day tomorrow before the Urology conference starts on Saturday. It should be sunny and this hotel has multiple pools, including a lap pool. This means I can get some much needed sun and can also get some much needed physicial activity.

I'm still working on a joke and maybe someone out there can finally help me put it together. So I was in Chicago a few weeks ago for a Neurosurgeon conference and am now in Orlando for a Urology conference. The joke has something to do with the fact that those two specialties are really operating on the same body part -- brain vs. penis vs. brain. Get it? It's funny. OK, it's funny to me and quite possibly only me. But it's not formulated quite right. A writer for David Letterman I shall never be.

For the Record, I am Referring to the Animal, not the Body Part

I frequently have dreams about people breaking into my apartment at night. Well, as a noise woke me up this morning, there actually WAS someone in my apartment! OK, sort of . . .

I had to lay there for a minute to make sure it wasn't just a dream. It wasn't, so I got up and decided to look around. As soon as I got up, the noise stopped. I figured the noise must be outside, so went back to bed. A few minutes later, the noise starts up again. Hmmmmm.

I head out to the couch as that's where the sound appears to be coming from. I lay there for a few minutes and it starts up again. In my ceiling! A noise so loud that I expect the beast is 90 lbs with huge teeth and claws and is going to burrow its way through my ceiling! OK, a tad dramatic of me, but you get the idea.

This would explain why I kept dreaming about beavers last night. . .

If Coughing were Sexy

I'd be a Pussycat Doll. Meow!

Sucks to be in Chicago and be sick. I was sure I had the flu as I went to bed Sunday night -- achy muscles, chills, headache. Luckily, I woke up feeling better, but still sick. I'm pretty sure I kept my neighbors up last night as I hacked up a lung.

The Neurosurgeon conference is going OK. Not enough candidate flow, but I'm trying to talk to whomever comes within my reaches. Mostly I just cough on them as I can barely talk.

The booth across the isle keeps replaying a video of a brain surgery. I'm pretty sure I could remove a tumor now. Scrape here, cut there, out comes the tumor!

As we are pretty bored in our little booth, I had the great idea to bring my laptop in today. It's been nice to catch up on e-mails, surf the web, and just have something to do. I leave for home tomorrow and am anxious to sleep in my own bed again.

More travel

Ak! Busy life over these next few months with three, week-long trips! Off to Chicago on Saturday for a neurosurgery conference, Orlando a few weeks later for a urology conference, and then trip for myself down to Mexico for my birthday in June. Neurosurgeons, as a group, are a rather stuffy bunch, so I don't expect them to be much fun. But Urologists are pretty funny! I'm looking forward to seeing what sort of educational toys they have at the conference this time! Weather forecast for Chicago: rain and snow mix. Haven't I had enough of that lately?!!

I just stumbled upon a blog (www.joyunexpected.com) and the author of it found out three months ago that she has a thyroid problem. As I read it, her words remind me so much of all the same issues I was having -- hair falling out, heart palpatations, gross weight gain, skin problems, and just that overall tired feeling. It's almost like I wrote her blog. I so want to reach out to her and tell her it really does get better! It brought back a lot of feelings I'd been struggling with only a few short years ago . . . and still do. I don't think I'll ever have the same level of energy I used to, I think I've tried every hair volumizing product available, I still feel my heart skip a beat every once in a while, and I swear I can't regulate my body temperature half the time! And don't even talk to me about the struggle just to maintain my weight! OK, maybe I shouldn't tell her _everything_ will be better . . . but it will become more manageable.

Alcohol

We can now add alcohol to the list of foods I have given up. Yes, you heard me correctly.

I've been having an allergic reaction to it for the last couple of years and am tired of it. Trust me, I've tried all different kinds and it appears that no matter the variety, I still react. I came to the conclusion that my body must be trying to tell me something . . . although I was probably too drunk at the time to listen . . . Ha!

Now that I've been alcohol-free for about a month, it makes me realize just how many times a week I was downing a drink . . . or two. I have a pretty social life and alcohol seems to be a part of every activity. I got a pedicure yesterday with my future sister-in-law, which would seem at face value to be an alcohol free event. It wasn't. They serve alcohol while you get your toes worked on. I was visiting my parents last weekend and mom kept offering me wine (she knows I'm more apt to share personal information if I have a drink or two in me). I think she was bummed when I turned her down as it drastically cut down on the opportunities for her to criticize my dating life! A Ladies Wine Night here, a Happy Hour there . . . it all really adds up.

I don't particularly miss the stuff, although do get a craving every once in a while. I'm not sure I'm going to permanently give it up, but for now, I'm on the wagon.

Plus, this affords me more chocolate calories to make up for the now absent alcohol calories!

My Mom's New Phone

My mom got a new iPhone. She's so proud of it. She decided to use it today to have the following conversation with me:

Mom just called to tell me about a study she just heard on the radio that was conducted in England. According to the study, it takes 30-50 dates (not with the same man), 3 one night stands, and 3 failed serious relationships before we meet the man of our dreams. She said the most common reasons for failed relationships were lack of humor (check!) and poor hygiene (check! check!) I told her I think I've done all that, minus the one night stands. Certainly been out with men who didn't find my jokes funny and definitely men who needed to find some soap.

She then reminded me that it's spring, so I needed to fluff my hair and keep makeup on, thereby increasing my chances.

Thanks, Mom.

Jr. High, Revisited

Why is it I sometimes still feel like the gawky 7th grader I once was? Case in point:

End of successful 2nd date. I have an extra ticket to a Blazers game this Saturday and have goal of asking date to join me. I am positive he'll say yes. All I have to do is ask. Easy Cheesy.

Now imagine those wavy squiggle lines going down the screen like they do when the heroein (don't know if I spelled that correctly -- I meant the female hero, not the druggie) has a flashback. I'm totally back in Jr. High. Braces. Thick, dark-rimmed glasses. Bad hair. Total lack of confidence. Back to present time: I'm sure I did the hair-tuck thing like 50 times and I vaguely recall turning my foot inward in some awkward pose. Argh! :) I'm hoping my inner nerd came across as cute and endearing as thankfully he said yes. Maybe it was just a pitty yes to put me out of my misery! :-D

The Antichrist

So my little bro got engaged over the weekend . . . this is great news and about damn time he made an honest woman out of his girlfriend! :) I asked my nephew what he thought of all this and he told me how happy he was to have another aunt. Wait a minute! Another aunt?! He technically has two aunts right now, but since the other one lives in Russia, I don't consider her a huge threat. But another aunt who lives in Portland?! What's the Best Aunt in the World supposed to do?!!!

OK, OK, I suppose the boys have enough love to share and two local aunts can love even more than just one . . . but just in case, I'll have to do a few extra things to remain Aunt #1. :)

Vacuuming

I've been back from San Diego for a week now, but realized I didn't write about my adventures!

Sunday was great -- I had the day to myself, so walked down to the bay, hopped on a ferry to Coronado, walked across the island, and SAT IN THE SUN! I think I had a smile on my face the whole day.

The conference was held for military urologists. I was there to recruit some of them after their military obligations were over. Basically, it was a bunch of men in their military uniforms (hubba hubba!) and penis products. Receipe for trouble, you may wonder? ;)

The busiest booth was the one showcasing the penis vacuum pump. As they were right across from me, I went to visit them a few times and got to learn all about how the pump works and learned way more about the penis than I ever thought possible! Their giveaways were the best -- I really wanted one of their penis bobble heads, but couldn't bring myself to ask for one of their most expensive freebies. I settled for their penis calendar.

Did I successfully recruit anyone? Don't know. Have to wait until 2016 to find out as that's when many of them will be available!

On the Road Again

I'm back at PDX! Why does flying always give me a headache? It's not that I struggle with the whole process or that I've had a bad experience . . . but I get a headache every time no matter how easy the day goes.

I'm heading down to San Diego! I'm hopeful for some sunshine. Other than having to set up my booth (which will only take a few minutes), today will be my "free day". I'm thinking of heading down to La Jolla and enjoying the beach and some shopping. It looks like my flight this morning is going to continue on to Cabo . . . oh so tempting to just stay on the flight all the way down there!

That's the extent of my update! Life is good, and I'm happy!

2008 Will Be Great!

That's my theory at least!

I talked to a candidate today and at the end of the conversation, he asked if I would send a summary of the opportunity to his e-mail address. I proceeded to try to read his e-mail address back to him and totally botched his name (it was foreign). I chuckled a little at myself out of nervousness because I knew I was totally screwing it up. He yelled at me, "You're a snotty little bitch!" I'm like, "Huh? Me?" He repeated, "You're a snotty little bitch! You are making fun of my name!" I quickly appologized and tried to explain that in no way did I mean for my little laugh to come across that way, but he said for the third time, "You're a snotty little bitch!" This attitude doesn't fit into my "2008 is Great" profile, so I told him I was going to end our conversation and hung up on him. Buh-Bye. I do feel bad that I offended him and for that I apologize, but I had no intent and got tired of him calling me a snotty little bitch. Snotty? Yes, I did have a cold a few days ago. Little? Uh, no, other than my fingers might be described as skinny. Bitch? I can think of a few guys I've dated who might feel that way . . . :-D